Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Half our life is spent in figuring how to please the heart. And the other half, in convincing ourselves why it never measures up to the happiness it promises.
If someone were to ask me today what really makes me happy, I seriously wouldn’t know. A good day, without any definition, comes to mind. There are times I can have that good day without any elaborate overture towards happiness too.
The game in life is never about happiness. Its about peace. Something which has more texture when spoken of as ‘sukoon’. No one tells you this. You are not even taught to look for it. It comes visiting, independent of mood.
What is it about music that comes from another room, another house.. it seems to have the lure of the distant seas and the need of the hour.. the smell of what could have been and the hope that it still can.... that’s sukoon …peace ..of heart ..of mind.
Whether it makes me happy or introspective or just lets me be is a matter of conjecture, never of conclusion.
I grew up hearing my Dad tell me that my biggest weakness would forever be my inability to co habit with my anger. I needed to let it breathe inside me to scale a few peaks. I forgave and lived too easy.
I tried holding on to my anger. It became too much of an ask. The effort killed my sukoon.
I agree, I possibly would have been more accomplished if I had asserted my angst instead of sacrificing it. But this peace that I have has come with its own cost and is so much more mine than that ever would have been.