Monday, November 09, 2009


I saw a tear in the sky today
No no not a teardrop, silly
A tear…

A huge zig zagger
Almost like a zip that had given way

I three quarters expected a glitter of stars to fall out
And, they probably did
You know how these things work
They sort of disappear in the day, right.
But, when u’re alone in the dark of a crystal night
They come out
In hordes …they wink and they tease

Okay so back to the tear…
I saw a tear in the sky today
And, to the one quarter of the expectation that I buried

A huge zig zagger
Almost like a zip that had given way

I one quarter expected myself to rocket out
Just that I had a no fuel day.

You know how things work, right..The stars got me overworking the night

Thursday, November 05, 2009

The Sun & The Smoke

Smoke in the eyes
Dark grey swirls amidst yellow fume
Like vanilla ice gone wrong

Tears that bleed
Sweet hell
And smell of ennui..

Of a sun blasted moon so full of shimmer that it pours off my eyelashes into my eyes

That is the yellow in the smoke I hold
The yellow that is you and the smoke that is mine…

Wednesday, November 04, 2009


Everytime I come back, I think I’ll never go away again..and then every single time I go..I eventually return.
Somewhat like life, right..

If u had asked me a month back I would have told you 2009 has been a disaster year. It crippled me in every way that mattered.
But what goes away always comes back eventually and, so has my will.

I lost my grandfather early 2009…he was already gone much before he actually did..he had alzheimers.
My grandpa was and still is my philosophy….
I don’t read much spiritual stuff even though I consider myself quite a believer. My grandpa , for most of his life was rooted in science, he did not believe in God. In the last decade we saw him taking to god in a manner inspired. Which brings me to my belief today that I have no faith in religion, no awareness of it either.
I do however close my eyes everytime I need a stronger me. And 2009 has seen me talking to God with a vehemence J

But, as all things come to an eventual close, my grandmom who had been withering away for the last 5 yrs taking care of my grandpa has shifted to Delhi, 5 mins from where I live. I don’t get to see her everyday but I take her out every weekend to the malls. She loves it. We take her out in the wheelchair. The 3 of team, my nani, my sonny and me. She doesn’t want to accept it but she has more colour on her face looking less burdened. She misses the husband and mentor who bought her home after marriage when she was all of 14 but we coerce a smile out of her everytime we visit the bangle shop here.

Mid 2009 dealt me a challenge I wish I had not taken. Opportunity beckoned and my closest friend took a call (haha..with ample support from me) – the right or the easy….and the right, thankfully won.
Am still waiting for the eventual comeback on that one !

Abt 2 months back I went to the Doc for an ailing foot which had probably tired itself out from all the weight it had been carrying over the years. Afew regular tests later, I discovered my blood sugar was 320..way over the 140 barrier….I had officially been declared a sugarbum…a diabetic.
I never liked sweets but the 6-7 pepsi’s I used to have every day had taken a toll. Suddenly I realized everything that had been staring at me for the last decade.
I took immediate action and a week later I was down to 147, a month later to 90.
Good to go or, so I thought.
I slipped just around my birthday and then followed a week long orgy of long suppressed culinary desires…..and then chatth and home. Today, I’m back treading fire again…..6 kgs down at last count.
I plan to bring the New Year in with a digit short…again some good out of a WTF situation.

I also have in the last month decided to take some decisive action towards a dream I have had for long.
Not much that can be said on that in a public forum J but I’m on my way.
The next few months will see action. I have decided I will not do anything I don’t want to professionally.
I work, because I like to and, over the years I’ve sacrificed that.
Correction is happening.

So life has a funny way of throwing things at u..almost like a kid wanting u to play with it…by throwing them back….its so easy to give in and say 2009 my disaster year…..but I’ve decided to do it the “right” way……disaster, all right, but in no way crippling !