Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Just odds and ends that have captured my attention for some time...relieved me of the pressures of the single minded pursuit haunting me today.

While the world is going gaga over Masakalli, I love the soul ditty of Maula Mere Maula....

"दरारें दरारें माथे पे मौला
मररमत॒ मुककदर की कर दो मौला,
मेरे मौला..
जो भी तेरे दर् आया, झुकने जो सर आया
मस्तियाँ पिए सबको, झूमता नज़र आया
प्यास ले के आया था, दरिया वों भर लाया
नूर की बारिश में भीगता सा तर आया
दरारें दरारें माथे पे मौला
मररमत॒ मुककदर की कर दो मौला, मेरे मौला.."

I believe, as many of us do, that each time demands its own Literature.
It's the creative arts that urge our happiness, mingle with our pain and finally, help us abandon ourselves to something far more potent than we can hope to accomplish.

At different phases of my life I have found anchor in music, films, and books. Its not that the connect hits you the first time you experience them but that, at different points in time, you take from the source what seems most relevant.

In the much acclaimed, The Namesake, there is a moving scene where Irfaan and the young Gogol walk out into the sea. They later realize they have forgotten to pick up the camera from the car and hence, cannot take pictures of the beauty around them, their experience of it together. The father tells the toddler, it does not matter; they will just have to remember it.
“How long?” the child asks.“Forever. We will have to remember the time we came so far that we could not go any farther.”

It’s something I have been trying to convince myself over years. I can’t hoard time…..and time can’t steal away memories.

Saw Dev D a week back. Something struck me. Its not really been talked about as much as the whole of Dev D. Actually I don’t think I have read it anywhere, even as a byline by the makers of the movie. So it could most easily be my interpretation of the scene even though the movie does not actively pan out as such.

There is a scene at the beginning of the movie where Dev asks Paro to send him a nude shot of herself.
She takes the picture and then goes to a market far away from her home in Chandigarh to scan and send out from a web café.
In the latter part of the movie, cut to a flashback spin of Chanda, going through the angst of young love because a boyfriend cut a compromising video of hers and made it public.

These two bits of the movie stay with me because one could most easily be the other.

Both girls were probably driven by the same emotion, the need to please themselves and their lovers.
So, why does Paro come out looking bold and Chanda, a slut? Chanda. could most easily have been seen as an innocent trapped by a mercenary boyfriend.

And, I’m not talking about just the movie now.
I’m talking about the girl who went through this tragedy in real life.
I wonder how many of us restrained the urge to condemn her act in our thoughts. Sure, we felt sorry for her but how many of us can put our hand to our heart and say that they did not think of her as a juicy story.

I can and I didn’t. I was, however guilty of a bigger crime. She was just too far away to affect my existence.

As I grow older, I sometimes see my reactions as frivolous, for lack of a better word.
SRK’s next antics on screen are also far away. He also does not affect my existence.
Just because I like watching it, I take out time and read and write reviews galore, spread the good cheer about his movies around.

Just because I can’t face shadows of self doubt about the influence I wield in my personal capacity to a social construct, I sit back, read in the papers and forget about a girl and so many others of everyday life who need my direction more.

I really don’t know where these thoughts are coming from.

As I said every moment demands its own literature.

Today, while there is hope in the journey and timelessness in memories, there is also a greater need to surrender to the intuitive, to a greater presence of certainty.

A need to go back to the source of the self doubt in one’s influence and, redirect, to a more positive purpose.

I’ll be back….till then Jai Ho!

"दरारें दरारें माथे पे मौला
मररमत॒ मुककदर की कर दो मौला, मेरे मौला.."

Monday, February 09, 2009

Khudi Ko Kar Buland Itna....

Its been ages since I countered my fear and picked up my pen. This period of staying away from the written word has been intentional.

Its always been easy to lose myself in the make believe haze of a jumble of words that mean so much and, release much moré.
I’ve done it the past, almost immediately after events, to restore balance.

This time, I have had no such time and have been in little mood to afford myself the same luxury.

2009 has been violently inertia breaking.

Just when u think life has ceded to u the simple happiness of just letting u be, u are asked to tie up ur laces again and go out to battle.

There is always an easy way. And, then, there is always the right way.
I think all of us, at different points in time find that both, are not, exclusive.

Honestly, while I owe strong allegiance to the right way, I have found myself straying towards the easy with relative ease. That must be human, right?

However, the intent has always been to do the right thing and I will do that today too.

I will undo myself, dry, in the energy of the spring sun and, emerge battle strong.

Its only in times that are indifferent to your happiness that one finds will. I had heard that so many times.
I have managed to conquer one of my oldest foes in these trying times by reining in that elusive will.

My intution says that I will end up “right” even though the right may not be “easy”.

As I said, it probably would be one of those times when both the “easy" and the “right" meet to make magic.