Monday, January 15, 2007

Love, eh ???

Some lines that remind me of the music in the rains, windows that talk and broken silhouettes.

None of these lines are mine but, what I wouldn't do to claim them as mine......

From Dashboard Confessional, Dusk & Summer

The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another

There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight

Until the last resilient hope
Is frozen deep inside my bones
And this broken fate has claimed me
And my memories for its own
Your name is pounding through my veins
Can’t you hear how it is sung?
And I can taste you in my mouth
Before the words escape my lungs
And I’ll whisper only once…

There is a secret that we keep
I won’t sleep if you won’t sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we’ll be given
We are compelled to do what we have to
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden

From Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead

I sat there beside him till morning - and as I watched his face in the starlight, then the first ray of the sun on his untroubled forehead and closed eyelids, what I experienced was not a prayer, I do not pray, but that state of spirit at which a prayer is a misguided attempt: a full, confident, affirming self-dedication to my love of the right, to the certainty that the right would win and that this boy would have the kind of future he deserved. . . . I did not expect it to be as great as this - or as hard.

A Short Poem by Peter Griffin

A cold evening
Drifts down from the Aravallis.
One ear stays warm.
Science would insist
That it's a cheap phone
Heating up.
I know what it really is:
You called
To share the sunset.

By Leonard Cohen

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, i know that we are not knew,
in city and in forest they smelled like me and you,
but now its come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, thats no way to say goodbye
I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
its just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,
but lets not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, thats no way to say goodbye....

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Its Time To Set The Cold Aside

When does the end come?

When u accept it, or, when you take action to change the existing truth, or the non-truth?

Or are they levels that you work through?

Are they sequential or can they hit you, not out of the blue because you knew it all along didn't you, but, because how much longer can you resist the hurt and hence, the hurting anyways?

Will it ever be enough to say enough without really doing anything?

What and when is enough? When will it be alright to stop pretending that you have reason to believe that you're some way away from it?

When will it be time to say, I tried but, I failed?

As the sun enters the northern hemisphere today, as the Sun God proceeds to visit his prodigal son Shani today, as Vishnu emerges victorious over the Asuras today, as Bhishma decides to use his boon of "ikchha mrityu" today,
I ask myself to stand before the mirror and say "its time to set the cold aside".......

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Gracias Innaritu

I saw Babel last night. Usually I don’t do reviews or posts on movies. I sincerely believe that my tastes in the arts cannot be singled out as vanguard and therefore I refrain from commenting through my experiences. There are times, however, when I’m forced to make exceptions.

Babel, a tower that humans decided to build in order to reach heaven and God. The arrogance of man got to God, who in all his humility, made everybody speak different languages. The premise is not new, neither is the treatment. Crash worked on similar premise and I’ve seen the treatment in Crash, Syriana, and Traffic.

Babel did not hit me like a Departed. It did not make me comfortable in the end like Crash. What it did do was make me watch each scene with a growing restlessness for each of its characters. This is saying a lot for its inertia breaking potential as the movie unfolds languorously through less than restless dimensions.

There is no point in making a point of its non linear approach to story telling. It’s the new age of film making and today’s directors don’t make films but tell stories. Of people and circumstances that are anything but linear.

There is a brilliant cameo by Gael Garcia Bernal as Santiago, the nanny’s nephew who comes into the story to catalyze the mexicano sojourn. As the reel unfolds with him, you sit at the edge of your seat trying to figure out where the disruption is going to happen. You know that its going to happen at his hands as such compelling a performance cannot be wasted. And, does it happen at his hands? No. He stands as a bystander for long as his identity is linked to his roots and persecuted. And, then he reacts…not like the dude you would have expected him to be but, so like a hunted animal in desperate abandon. What a performance. Focus on his eyes and sure to God u will see what I’m talking about.

Ah, the Japanese girl…..Rinko Kikuchi…Cheiko..hers is a story of the director’s indulgence. Very loosely tied to the main script, she flirts at the fringe but, forms the recurring conscience of the film. I had only heard till now that Japan is always on the move. See how Japan is captured frame by frame and you bet its on the move. There is nothing out of the ordinary this girl does. She plays volleyball. She meets friends. She wants to attract guys. She is desperate for love. She has an angst ridden family life. She wants to get laid. And, she is also deaf and dumb. But, contrast these very human failings with the awe inspiring solution provider, always ahead, facade of japanese culture and you have a story. Japan is definitely on the move but Cheiko isn’t. Like so many like her around the world, she is just trying….

To me this movie was not just about communication that was not able to fructify because it went un understood. No. That would be too simple a demand by the director from his audience.
The one big thing that I carried back was “dignity”. The dignity of life and living.

An American woman has been shot. She lies in an unknown village at the back of nowhere. She can’t move. She is forced to relieve herself in her clothes. Knowing the person for who she is her husband picks up his shot wife and enables her to accomplish relieving herself again in a pan. It doesn’t matter if shes dying, she deserves the dignity to be herself. And, that is when, while she is relieving herself, they find reason to speak the same language again. Of forgiveness. Of truth. Not profound, but, momentous in terms of discovery.

As the older brother gets shot and the father runs towards him, the younger one does what comes naturally to him. He picks up the gun and starts firing. He is a dude and he knows best. Well, till he sees his brother dying. And, then he takes the most decisive action of the movie , he kills the rifle and walks out to surrender. Tall in stature and dignity both.

As the American woman lies shot and bleeding in a ramshackle house, left to the care of an even more dilapidated old Moroccan woman you hope and pray that that is not the end. As the old woman rises to shut the door against prying eyes you breathe again. Cultures are isolated but understanding of privacy is not.

As the nanny’s daughters dress her up for her son’s wedding in her old, very old, when she was 20 types red dress, the nanny comments on how it still fits her because she is still young. The daughters smile, hide the part where the back zip refuses to zip their mother’s age and make her feel all of 20 again.

As I said, the dignity of life and living.

As you can see this is no review. Just pictures that made me think. A story that was told. And. not forgotten.

Was the movie good? Who cares???

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Song That Said It All

"Bepanaah pyar hai aajaa
Tera Intezaar hai aajaa..."

Little did I know that I would be paying homage to this not so bad song from a very bad movie afew yrs from listening to it first. The movie is not important and neither was the song till afew minutes back. And, afew minutes means afew minutes.

I just got a call from my mom. A very unusual call. Not because it was from my mother but because of what she wanted to talk to me about.

Just to digress a little, my mom calls me at least 5 times a day over completely inconsequential things about everything she shouldn't be bothered about. And, in my 34 yrs of life I have never, I repeat NEVER heard or seen her doing or facilitating anything for HERSELF.

I feel ashamed. Because I don't know what my mom wants for herself. Just herself.

I know she lives for her family. And, I know, 38 yrs of caring for my father has made laughing so easy for and with her. I know she knows what each of her kid's desires are (well, almost all) and there is nothing that she will not do to make them come alive. To say that my mom knows no life apart from the one she has with her family would perhaps, be an understatement.

She is no shadow. Oh no !! She wields power without ever raising her voice (oky, so thats slightly untrue at times), because we bow to the love that has been showered on us through the years. We all agree that without her, my dad would never have been able to become the father he is and, we kids, would have grown up with unknown dreams and insignificant shadows.

But, I still don't know what my mom wants. For herself. No Dad, No Kids. Just herself.

Till about 20 mins back......She just called. She said she was going to ask me a very stupid question. She wanted to know which movie this song was from. She said she loved it and wanted to buy the cd. And, she sounded embarassed about it.

After so many years, I heard off something she wanted.

The song just turned from being humdrum to phenomenal.....